can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She even gives head with a lisp.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
