I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
