Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
