Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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