Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
