Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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