So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
