Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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