Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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