Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
