Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
