bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
