what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
