I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i can't believe i had my finger in that
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Randomize
