Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
