im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
