well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
3 2 1 whiskey
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
