Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
