fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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