Welp...herpes.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
