Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
