R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just cropdusted the office
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
