I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
