I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
