i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
