Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Drake has all the answers
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
