Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Randomize
