We're like a lot better than the average bears
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize