Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
