So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
