As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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