My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
