Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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