Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
