Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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