I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
