i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
