you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
