And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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