what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
