idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
