3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
