What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
