Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i permit you to call me
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Randomize
