Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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