I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
