Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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