I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
