is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
