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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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